he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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