I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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