brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I think my moral compass just broke
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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