I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
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i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
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You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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