We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
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She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
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he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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