She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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