its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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