is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize