that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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