best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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