Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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