He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
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