Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
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