What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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