Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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