ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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