Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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