how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
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started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
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Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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