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ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
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