Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
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