At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize