you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
How external is "for external use only"?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
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