From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize