i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
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I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
i think i just lost a toe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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