Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize