I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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