Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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