Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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