no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
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