last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize