I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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