You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
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to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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