I love black thongs
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
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