Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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