Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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