Texts From Last Night

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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings

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  (724): dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings http://tfl.nu/fi5x
  Replies (11) Good night (801) Bad night (4485) Order T-Shirt
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?

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  (615): Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN? http://tfl.nu/nemo
  Replies (9) Good night (2980) Bad night (947) Order T-Shirt
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.

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  (517): Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond. http://tfl.nu/hqwj
  Replies (15) Good night (461) Bad night (3031) Order T-Shirt
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  (305): View more from Florida

  false alarm. still invincible.

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  (305): false alarm. still invincible. http://tfl.nu/rmc6
  Replies (35) Good night (8207) Bad night (596) Order T-Shirt
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  (585): View more from New York

  I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.

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  (585): I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys. http://tfl.nu/354b
  Replies (19) Good night (5297) Bad night (1668) Order T-Shirt
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  #1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex

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  (503): #1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex http://tfl.nu/si5x
  Replies (10) Good night (802) Bad night (3070)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.

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  (913): Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move. http://tfl.nu/e9ea
  Replies (6) Good night (4644) Bad night (776) Order T-Shirt
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.

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  (519): My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again. http://tfl.nu/uf58
  Replies (15) Good night (688) Bad night (3679) Order T-Shirt
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.

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  (443): I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings. http://tfl.nu/mygm
  Replies (6) Good night (1600) Bad night (611) Order T-Shirt
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk

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  (443): Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk http://tfl.nu/uult
  Replies (1) Good night (1107) Bad night (425) Order T-Shirt
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  (661): View more from California

  Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.

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  (661): Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting. http://tfl.nu/cxg1
  Replies (4) Good night (363) Bad night (1422) Order T-Shirt
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers

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  (250): Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers http://tfl.nu/71zx
  Replies (3) Good night (1012) Bad night (371) Order T-Shirt
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  (425): View more from Washington

  Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began

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  (425): Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began http://tfl.nu/trvz
  Replies (2) Good night (348) Bad night (681) Order T-Shirt
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.

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  (330): Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving. http://tfl.nu/wsf8
  Replies (2) Good night (787) Bad night (309) Order T-Shirt
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker

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  (307): I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker http://tfl.nu/4xt0
  Replies (6) Good night (1015) Bad night (298) Order T-Shirt

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