I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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