Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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