Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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