6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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