I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize