You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
My dick has a subreddit
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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