Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my gift to your gina
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize