somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Randomize