ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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