i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I see more hoeing in ur future
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