He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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