Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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