never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize