I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
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He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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